overpopulation

The human population on this planet will double this summer alone. Not really, but damn, there are a lot of babies being born. What's going on, people?! I'm very happy for all of you, but why are there so many little monkeys being born this summer in particular? I can't remember a more abundant crop, and mostly boys to boot!

First there was handsome young Arthur in Seattle; then athletic little Jace in the Palisades; then a double-hitter the night before last with beloved Henry in Colorado and sweet Sophie in San Francisco; baby Biegel is due in two weeks; baby Wolter a few weeks after that; and little baby Abby will arrive in September. And those are just among my friends and relatives. There are several other pregnant people lurking around in the background.

I admit I do find my friends' children more charming than most. And they can be a lot of fun in small doses. But I am not tempted to procreate myself in the least. Sometimes I think it would be cool to go through the experience of pregnancy -- I mean, there's just nothing else like it, and on a certain level it's what our bodies were made to do, and it IS a miracle that you can just start a life within your belly easy as pie, and carry this little creature around for nine months and then whammo, there's a new somebody on the planet who never existed before. It's amazing, I admit it! But what the heck do you do with them once they're born?